Sacrifice and Bliss
by Animagus1
Summary: Taking place in Snape's past, why has he been banished from Hogwarts? And who is the mysterious girl in the picture? More importantly, what has she got to do with his future?


DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter. But Blodwen is out of my head! So there!!:-P  
  
A/N: Well, it's been a long time since I've written anything at all. I guess this is maybe a way of getting back into fanfic, and it'll probably be subject to a couple of rewrites before I'm happy with it. Basically the story is going to take place in Snape's past to begin with, and then (if I can be bothered) it'll change time and place, to Hogwarts four years after Harry, Ron and Hermione have graduated. Hope you like! (And sorry if it's a bit confusing, it should all be explained in later chapters...)  
  
Dropping his bags in the centre of the floor, Severus Snape looked slowly around the room. It was small and decorated in a style that must have been fashionable some decades ago, although it was perfectly suitable for Severus's requirements.   
  
"Well then, cariad, what d'you think? Bit small it is I suppose, but a good price. And there's a meal for you whenever you want it..."  
  
Severus remained silent, still gazing around at his surroundings. He crossed to the large mullioned window and looked down into the large and overgrown garden. In a distracted tone, not turning back to look at the woman speaking to him, he agreed to rent the room. "Yes, yes it's fine. If you would be so kind as to leave me to unpack my belongings? It's been rather a long journey."  
  
The landlady nodded furiously. "Oh, of course cariad. Rude of me to stay so long, you'll be wanting some rest. I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything, anything at all."  
  
Severus inclined his head in agreement, his face impassive, but inside he was seething. He'd had to leave Hogwarts quickly and unexpectedly after his graduation, leaving the majority of his personal belongings behind. Dippet, the headmaster of the school, had promised to send them after him, but Severus had serious doubts about his competence to do so in a reasonable amount of time -   
  
"Ta ra then cariad". Breaking his train of thought, Severus's new landlady left his room, closing the door quietly behind her. Severus shook his head in annoyance. And why must the infernal woman insist on referring to him as cariad? He didn't even know what the word meant!   
  
Some time later, Severus Snape had unpacked the scant belongings and was growing steadily more restless in the small, close room as the hot afternoon wore on. The sounds of distant laughter and screams of children drifted in through the open window which Severus had earlier flung open in the vain hope of creating a draught through the room. Severus stood still by the bed and then abruptly started towards the door. Standing on the landing outside his room he looked down the hallway at either side of his own door. The next door to his left bore a sign on the door; toilet it said, rather inevitably Severus supposed.  
  
Blodwen Gurgels, seated at her large kitchen table, was finding that she couldn't concentrate on that mornings crossword in Y Ddraig, the local witches and wizards newspaper. Pausing with her quill hovering in midair above the page, she stared upwards at the ceiling. Heavy footsteps again crossed the floor upstairs. Sighing, Blodwen pushed back her chair and stood up. There was something about Severus Snape that she just couldn't understand. Though he appeared to be haughty and uninclined to familiarity, something underneath all that seemed vulnerable, and rather in need of a hug.  
  
Walking down the stairs, Severus aimlessly gazed at the pictures lining the walls. Most were of large, probably family, groups chattering happily away amongst themselves, but one stood out and drew his attention. The photograph showed a girl dressed in Victorian fashion, seated by herself and with a book clasped in her hand. Peering closer, Severus could see it had a strange title, "Mab" something? Unlike most wizarding portraits, the subject in the frame did not move, although she was looking up at the camera with the slightest hint of a smile turning up the corners of her mouth. Her eyes were large and dark, and seemed to Severus to contain a glint of mischief, though whether this was true or his imagination, he couldn't tell.  
  
Standing at the bottom of the staircase and looking up at her new lodger, Blodwen's heart went out to him. Caught in a moment when he wasn't presenting a front to the world - something she suspected the teenager did very often - he looked sad and, somewhat surprisingly perhaps, very young. Unwilling to disturb him by making her presence known, she remained for a moment longer before quietly retreating back to the kitchen. Picking up her quill, she smiled in satisfaction as she filled in another answer on the crossword; another word for a brainteaser.  
  
Tearing his eyes away from the picture of the Victorian girl, Severus continued down the steps. Reaching the bottom he stood helplessly in the hallway, looking helplessly at each of the doors leading to other parts of the house. While he mostly appeared to be self-confident, perhaps too much so sometimes, he was in truth rather shy, and finding himself a lodger in an unfamiliar house, the feeling was heightened. Finally deciding to follow the faint sound of music, he soon found himself in the large welcoming kitchen of his host. The walls had been painted in a warm, bright yellow and as before, were covered in wizarding portraits. Almost without realising what he was doing, Severus scanned the walls for pictures of the girl he had seen on the stairs. Blodwen, noticing his glances around the room and correctly guessing the reason for them, smiled to herself.  
  
"Hello again! Would you like a drink? How about something to eat?" Some bara brith and a nice cup of tea?"  
  
Severus, feeling slightly overwhelmed and having absolutely no idea as to what "bara brith" could possibly be, decided to ask.  
  
"Sorry, but - well, what is bara brith? I've never heard of it before..." His voice stumbling over the unfamiliar words, he blushed and let his sentence trail off.  
  
Blodwen, trying to keep from laughing at his appalling pronounciation, stood up and pulled out a chair for him. "Now you sit yourself there while I make the tea", she said, in a somewhat fond tone of voice. "And it was perfectly rude of me to expect you to know what bara brith is when you've only just arrived! Is this your first time in Wales cariad?"  
  
Severus nodded mutely, which Blodwen didn't see because she was buttering a large stack of what appeared to be thick bread. Turning from the counter, she placed the plate and a large mug of tea in front of Severus. "That's bara brith. It's a bit like a fruit bread, I suppose. You'll have to tell me when you don't understand what I say, because I'm so used to speaking Welsh that I tend not to realise that people don't understand it."  
  
Again Severus nodded silently, this time because his mouth was full of crumbs. He was forced to admit that Blodwen had been right about the bara brith - it was like a fruit bread, and was also very nice. Helping himself to another slice, he smiled at the woman sitting opposite him, the first total smile she'd seen from him since he'd arrived. Amazed by the way in which his smile completely altered his somewhat plain features, she smiled back. "Now don't forget to drink your tea before it goes cold", she urged him in a rather motherly tone. Severus, rather than be irritated with the ease with which she was talking to him as he customarily would, actually realised he found it somewhat comforting, and picking up his cup, he gulped it down and then placed the mug gently back on the table. 


End file.
